“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

I recently read John Maxwell’s blog post about fear, and I was inspired.

Discover the foundation of fear

-Has anyone ever asked you “Bakit ka natatakot?” (Why are you afraid?), and you could only say, “Basta” (just because) or, “Nakakatakot e” (it’s scary) ? Well, it’s not really a good answer, it’s barely an answer at all. Who would be afraid of nothing? Some people could be afraid of nothingness, but that’s a different story altogether. People just can’t be afraid of nothing. Maybe you’re afraid of spiders, but you’re not afraid of the spider itself, but afraid of the feeling of it crawling on you. There might be very brave people out there, seemingly fearless, but everyone has a weak point. My point is, everyone has a fear, and to overcome it, you must first know where the fear comes from.

Admit your fears

-“Natatakot ako.” It’s pretty simple to say, easy actually, but some people won’t (or can’t admit this), and I actually feel sorry for people who don’t let their emotions out. If a person is trying to keep up an image of the “strong guy/girl who’s not afraid of anything,” I suggest that they give it up. As I said before, everybody gets scared sometimes, and it’s only natural. A person who can’t admit that they’re scared to themselves, then how on earth do they expect to defeat their fears? How can you battle something that you can’t even confess is within you?

Accept the frailty and brevity of life

-There are simply some things in life that we can’t stop from happening, but that doesn’t mean that we should just curl up in a corner and wait for the disasters to come roaring at us, it means that we have to find a way to avoid having to deal with these unstoppable events alone, or unprepared. Come on, people! Wake up!

Accept fear as the price of progress

-We’ve heard it before, “it’s a scary world out there.” Ask any adult, ask your parents, ask your older friends…. I doubt anybody can say that their life is easy, no matter how privileged they are. It’s a risk to live every day, and it’s hard sometimes, but after all the rain, out comes the sun, right? It’s progress, to learn new things every day.

Develop a burning desire that overcomes fear

-You ought to find something worth fighting for while you’re at it. If you have an ulterior, positive motivation to fight your fear, I bet you’re gonna overcome it that much sooner. If you ask me, finding a goal or an inspiration, makes working hard easier.

Focus on what you can control

-John Maxwell said:

I can control my attitude, but not others’ actions.

I can control my calendar, but not others’ circumstances.

And it’s not what happens to me, but what happens in me.

What he said is true. You can’t control everything, but then again, you don’t have to. Simply doing what you can is good enough. Being the best at what you do may not be what some people look for, but you don’t have to please everyone. Seriously, chill.

Focus on today

-You can’t go back to yesterday, neither can you fast forward to tomorrow. You can’t make everything work for you, it’s impossible, no matter how many connections you have out there. Don’t you think it’s scary thinking about the future? What? You’re not? Why, aren’t you brave.

Put some wins under your belt

-As I write about it now, I realize that the more pain you go through, the stronger you become. It’s as if all the fears you defeat melt together and become an invisible shield that makes you stronger. I don’t know, ha ha ha. If you face one thing, then the next challenge won’t seem as hard. Somehow, the more obstacles you pass, the better you get at overcoming them. It seems that “practice makes perfect” applies to fears.

Do it now

-The more you think about what you’re afraid of, the more stressed you become about it. If you try to actually overcome them, maybe you won’t keep on fretting about them. Nothing comes from simply worrying about things. Sure, you can just wait for your fears to go away, but I doubt that doing that will work. What you need to do is move, take action, make decisions.

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It took me time to make this blog post, and now, as I proofread it, it occurs to me that I am essentially making one point: to overcome your fears take a lot of effort, but these efforts make all the hard work worth it. Facing your fears is hard, scary, even impossible for some, but still, you have to conquer it. No cowering about. Just do it.