Ego

I always thought that I was pretty. No, this isn't gonna be some post about me praising myself, but more of a reflective thing.

The thing is, I always thought that I was pretty. That I had things to offer. Now, in my second year of college, I still find myself single. I find myself having no one to text good morning and good night. No one to randomly visit when I have long breaks. Why is that?

They say good things come to those who wait. Well, I've been waiting for 2 years now. Some say good things come to those who go out and look for it. I tried that, too, and I failed miserably. Why? Is there some cosmic force out there preventing me from meeting someone? If so, I would really appreciate it if you back off, please. I'm tired of being single.

Of orgs and responsibilities.

Here'a the thing: I'm a member of UP EURO, and recently, there have been issues between me and Martin, the VP for Finance. See, I didn't want to be part of Fin in the first place -- It eas assigned to us. Unconsciously, My work became half-assed. Maybe because I never really enjoyed ny work, maybe it just wasn't my forte. Martin and I got into this heated conversation about loyalty, work ethics, etc etc. I, being the hot-headed arrogant little prick that I can be, offended Martin. I apologized soon after, but it was awkward when I saw him the next day -- it was unavoidable, he was my Latin classmate. It's been about two weeks, and things have gotten better between us. Kuya Pax and Ate Baj talked to me about moving to a different sector, namely, Comm, and Martin and I are on better terms now. I actually just submitted my appeal to transfer sector form a while ago. Things are looking good on the EURO front.

I am currently an app for AIESEC, a VSB-based org. (It still feels weird calling it VSB-- I'm not a fan of Virata). Things have been going smoothly. Better than that, actually. I'm having an awesome time hanging out with new people. I like my co-apps (some of them, anyway). There are a little over a hundred of us, and so far, I've met about 30 or so. I've made mental notes on the people I actually click with, a mini-barkada, so to speak. There's Elle, Anna, Iya, Clarice and Jules, Mark and Jico, Carlo and Miggy, Sunny, Ruod, and Page, Irish, Rodel and Nina, etc etc. Ang rami talaga e. =))) I've also gotten to know some of the mems, particularly Khail and Jes (Jesus~), and gotten to hang out with the EB people, Kuya Chino, and so on. So far, the app process has been chill. I've been collecting signatures for the past two days, and I personalky think I'm doing a good job. =)))) I'll continue working on this soon. Arrivederci!

Idk?

Marathoning Awkward all night has inspired me to blog more, lol. Unfortunately, my life isn't as interesting as Jenna Hamilton. Er, and is not fictional. I have the Blogger app on my ipod, so I guess I have no excuse to not post more often. Except for the fact that I'm busy as fuck now. Damn. Gotta get my life back on track.

Idk man, life's confusing as fuck. I don't really have any right to say this, cause I've only been here for 18 years. I know so little about the world. But man, it's confusing. Maybe I'm just some disillusioned teenager.

I love my classmates. =)) 

Random pictures because... Well, cause i can.

PS. Posting mobile is so much easier. :))))

It's been an interestig first few weeks of class. Slowly getting the hang of running from AS to CAL then back to AS. My brains's starting to get used to thinking in Italian, a skill I desperately need to master. Latin's crazy. The prof, mostly. Anthro's been really interesting. Art Stud's so-so. Microbiology and Biotechnology's insane. Why'd I take that class? Oh, right. I was desperate for an MST. EURO work's been piling up, so I gotta stay on my feet so I don't get swamped. Training's started, and I'm really excited. Can't wait to get my body in shape (a shape that's not round). Been trying to make friends (failing at that, really). EL friends still as tight as ever. Made a new friend in Ruod. :))) Oh, and been trying to get people to join EURO. Trying is the operative word here. My datig life is still as dead as ever -- what's new, eh? Other than that, I'd say that my first semester's been good. So far so good.

Eh.

I don't know the whole story, but Chel's dad doesn't allow her to go out often, and he thinks that his daughter's with the wrong crowd. Right now, we're trying to convince Chel not to leave our clingy group of friends.

Then I thought, what if I had to do that? Would my friends beg me to stay? I know, it's selfish. But can you blame me for wanting to feel loved by my friends? Come on.

I don't feel as loved as my other friends in X5. Maybe I don't make that much of an impression to them. Ah, well. I could make more friends. Strengthen ties with existing friends. I don't know.  I 'm not really good with the whole friends thing. Ahh, crap. Help.

Philo 10. Damn, I'm gonna miss this class.

Okay, for my Philo 10 class, we have this requirement -- a paper. Here is one of my answers:

Question 2: Evaluate your Philosophy 10 experience. Aside from the printed hardcopy, kindly upload your answer to any website/forum that may be accessible to other people. Kindly indicate on your submitted paper the web address where your evaluation can be directly accessed.

I had originally planned to cancel my slot for Sir Caslib’s Philo 10 class, because my two friends who also got slots in his class had to cancel. If I continued, it would mean that I would be entering a class in which I knew nobody, which was hard for me, because I’m not good at making new friends. Walking up the stairs to the room, I was already about 60% sure that I would cancel the class, and then I met Sir Caslib. He’s one of those people that have a presence. He talks in such a way that you’re drawn to listen to whatever he’s talking about, be it the history of philosophical thought, the doctrines on the meaning of life, or the intricacies of love and sexuality. There’s something about him that makes you want to listen more. This being a summer class, it lasted two hours, five days a week, which I felt was not enough – I would sit in class all day if I could.

The requirements weren’t too bad, and the readings were enough to explain the topics without being too wordy. It made sense to read ahead. The things he made us do were things I thought I would never do in class – to sing and dance. It was such a fresh experience. I had lots of chances to interact with my classmates. The skits we had to come up with were always met with enthusiasm. The field trip was my first one, and it’s going to be hard to top that experience.

I’ve learned so much from the lessons. I haven’t done a 180-degree kind of change, but the things I learned from this class have opened my eyes to new perspectives. Did you know that there are two branches of Epistemology? Or that Plato’s symposium was about love? Before this class, I didn’t. Before this class, I was living in a small, sheltered world.

I could never talk about my Philo 10 experience without mentioning my classmates. They have been the best part of my summer. They’re such a diverse group of people – new friends from MBB, Eng’g, Law, CMC, etc., and from different age groups. It’s been a blast getting to know them. They have all, in one way or another, no matter how little it may seem, changed me.

There are times when I feel like a wallflower – I don’t really stand out and I rarely voice out my concerns. There was a time when I was really down because I felt totally invisible to my classmates – I left the area, and no one even noticed – and I resorted to crying. Thinking back on that, I still get down, but I’ve gotten over it. I’d rather think about all the happy times I’ve spent with them – the field trip, the random outings, the late night conversations. I would never take those back.

I’ve had a lot of firsts in this class – first clingy class, first field trip, first overnight sem-ender, first time taking a jeep to Antipolo, first time breaking the curfew three nights in a row, and a lot of other firsts that might not be appropriate to put here. Interesting experiences all around.

During the last few meetings, Sir Caslib kept commenting that we’ve gotten closer as a class, but he also said that he thinks that we won’t last after a semester. It’s a challenge, but I’m willing to work hard to maintain the friends I gained in his class. Being only a freshman, I’ve only had a few GE classes, but I can certainly say that Philo 10 is the best GE class I’ve ever had. 

WOAH.

OH GOD. I haven't posted in a year. Wow. I want to go back to blogging. I will. I'll try to.

See, I've been spending a lot of my time on Twitter and Tumblr. Sorry about that, Blogger. >:)< I'll come back home to you now.

I've changed a lot since the last time I posted here. And I mean a LOT.