Christmas ain't feelin like Christmas

I've had my share of not-so-great holidays, but this time it's different.

We celebrated Christmas here in Baguio, inviting Ninong Ben, his wife Tita Imelda and their son, my cousin, Ira; Ninang Cris, her husband Tito Pao and their new-born daughter, Robin; and my stepfather's HUGE family. For me, his family is huge. Compared to our small family, which can be likened to a group, their family is like an entire classroom. I can’t even name all of them. (Because there is a lot of ‘em, and partly because I can’t even remember all their names.)

My family was complete, and there was lots of food during Noche Buena, but I felt that something was missing. I didn't realize it at the time, but looking back now, I think I've figured it out.

It’s not the same because I spent it thinking about how many gifts I was going to get. I’m ashamed. The season is supposed to be about Jesus Christ, and here I was, thinking materialistic thoughts.

For kids, it’s not really a big deal because they don’t really understand the liturgical aspect of Christmas. The season is usually about gifts and toys, food and parties, etc. for them. On the other hand, I’m a teenager now. I go to a Catholic school. I’m part of the Liturgy and Vocation Club, I’m even an officer of the club.

Have you seen the picture showing Santa and Jesus having a chat?

"Kasi sa tuwing birthday ko, ikaw na lang lagi ang inaabangan ng lahat"

Although it’s just a joke, it does have meaning. We fail to see the importance of Christmas, placing Santa on the pedestal as the most awaited person during the season.

I’m not trying to guilt all of you out there who might have acted the same, this is just me thinking how awful I would feel if it were me being snubbed on the day that was supposed to be about me.

Infinity and yada yada yada

I saw this video on one of my favorite sites, and I tried do it. Ha. It works xD



First I tried doing circles in a simple triangle, and I had fun doing it. :D



Then I tried monkeys. (Or are they chimpanzees? Sorry, I'm not really sure.)

Twas time well spent.

So then I was like, yeah.

All of my friends know that when I am bored, I draw. I draw on paper, on my hand, on tissues found on the table in restaurants, on place mats, even on my handkerchief – you name it, I’ve probably drawn on it. You’d think that me being so impulsive (i.e., indiscriminate) in where I draw would make me a generally messy person, but I’m not. (Well, not usually) I keep my drawings neat and tidy in drawers in my room, and although they take up about 40% of my storage space (40% for my books, and 20% for clothes and other personal paraphernalia), I don’t like throwing them away. I mean, it takes up a lot of my time, drawing, sketching, scribbling, doodling; it’s a lot of work! So why on earth would I chuck ‘em out?

I still have these old spiral notebooks that my grandmother would get me so that I wouldn’t bother her when she was working. I usually drew little girls with frilly dresses, and their bangs would be a bunch of letter Cs, her mouth would be a letter B turned on its side on top of a letter D. Now I think it’s cute. Of course, my drawings have improved. I was heavily influenced by the anime and manga styles of Japan. From the traditional “shoujo” (girl) style of huge eyes and eye lashes, to the “shonen” style of roughness, I have used up an average of 6 sketchpads per year. My friends used to laugh at the pointy chins, the over-the-top-impossibly-styled hair, and the huge owl-eyes. Due to popular demand, I’ve toned it down, but not enough to completely change it.

Recently, I’ve dipped a bit in the realm of realistic drawing and painting. Inspired by my, uhm, good friend, (*wink wink*) I have been learning to draw more realistic figures. It’s all thanks to him. I saw him paint, draw, the works, and I was blown away. I met him in elementary, and now he’s become so much better at what he does. I’m learning a lot from him, and I’m not as good as him yet, but I’m getting better. Slowly, my style is transforming. I guess this is what happens as time passes. Styles come and go, techniques develop. When I was a kid, I used to draw with anything I could find; from grade 3 to my 1^st year in high school, I wouldn’t even write unless I had a Mongol No. 3 pencil; and now, I’ve been more meticulous about the “instruments” I use when I draw (oh how I love my Staedtler 0.5mm Mars micro mechanical pencil, ha ha ha).

Yes, bratty as I am when it comes to these kinds of things, I still try to have fun with whatever I draw. I even go online looking for more things to draw. I’m even interested with typography now. (What a shocker :P) I think it’s amazing how some people can arrange a string of words and make it an artwork. I’m trying to think of new things to do, new styles to take in, new colors and shades just waiting for me to discover them. Ha ha ha.

If I ever become a type of person who some look up to, I only have a few words for them, “Absorb new styles, and make it your own.” I think it’s pretty simple. You find new things, you try to copy them, then you add your own twist to it. (Artistic plagiarism is a no-no for me.)

2011, be kind.

2010 is over. It was a generally good year for me. I thank God for all the blessings He's given me, my family, and my friends. And to all my friends, I thank you. My year wouldn't have been as good as it was if it weren't for all of you.

I’m excited for 2011. I can’t wait to see the betterment this new year will give me. But I guess, to see a visible forward motion, I should change my bad ways and do something new. To start the year right, I would like to list down 11 New Year's Resolution, for 2011. This year, I promise to:

• Learn new things. Take more chances.

- I've learned a lot from 2010, and 2011 is the year to take risks, to figure out if what Ive learned last year will be useful.

• Relax. CHILL.

- I'm kinda high-strung, and whenever I'm stressed, you REALLY don't need to see me when I'm stressed. First I go through the "laugh it off" stage. Then I go all quiet. After that I just go ballistic. Theeeeen, I shut down. Bad stuff, man.

• Become closer with my siblings.

- It was just recently that me and my sisters became close, and I want us to be even closer. :) My brother and I are already close, we’re practically twins. We think the same, and we even act the same sometimes. Although things between us can get pretty heated up, at the end of the day, we’re still brother and sister.

• Do better in school.

- I promise myself this every year....... I'm getting to it xD

• Go to church more often. Try to be always of help.

- Be the Louisian I am 0:)

· Use the computer productively.

- For years now, I've had the chance to branch out my interests and find some pretty neat stuff online; from my manga cravings (Japanese comics), to online games (good thing I stopped), to cool sites that I stumble upon out of pure luck. I've kept myself entertained with these sites, though I've unwittingly become quite addicted to them. Now, I ought to use technology to be more productive, whether it be academics-related, or for self-improvement.

• Be less moody. I’ll try to be a little more patient with the people around me.

- Ah.... This one might be a little hard........

• Stop settling for less and aim for something that I know I truly deserve.

- I should know better. I should pick things (and maybe people) who are positively influential on me. I know that sometimes I'm not the nicest person, and that only the nicest people deserve the best things, but sometimes, you have to fight for what you want, and it means that you will probably hurt a few people in the process.

• Make more friends! No more hating. No more being mean!

- New friends! After all, what's life without interesting people around you?

• Improve my talents.

- Ah, this in one I gotta work extra hard on. If I want to get into the college of my dreams, I gotta work hard. I gotta meet new people who are willing to help em improve, and i have to work on it more seriously. No more playing around.

• Be strong.

- People say that I don't really change, and they're happy that I haven't been influenced in a negative way. You know what? Yes I have changed. I'm not the same person I was last year, or the year before that. I’m not as nice as I used to be, because I don’t want to be taken for granted. I have changed because I have realized that everybody can be hurtful, although sometimes unintentionally, even those you used to trust. I have to be strong.

There is still one extra promise I have to make to myself. That is, to never forget to have FUN. Although I have to be more serious this year, I shouldn't forget that in order to live a happy year, I have to have fun every once in a while. :)