So then I was like, yeah.

All of my friends know that when I am bored, I draw. I draw on paper, on my hand, on tissues found on the table in restaurants, on place mats, even on my handkerchief – you name it, I’ve probably drawn on it. You’d think that me being so impulsive (i.e., indiscriminate) in where I draw would make me a generally messy person, but I’m not. (Well, not usually) I keep my drawings neat and tidy in drawers in my room, and although they take up about 40% of my storage space (40% for my books, and 20% for clothes and other personal paraphernalia), I don’t like throwing them away. I mean, it takes up a lot of my time, drawing, sketching, scribbling, doodling; it’s a lot of work! So why on earth would I chuck ‘em out?

I still have these old spiral notebooks that my grandmother would get me so that I wouldn’t bother her when she was working. I usually drew little girls with frilly dresses, and their bangs would be a bunch of letter Cs, her mouth would be a letter B turned on its side on top of a letter D. Now I think it’s cute. Of course, my drawings have improved. I was heavily influenced by the anime and manga styles of Japan. From the traditional “shoujo” (girl) style of huge eyes and eye lashes, to the “shonen” style of roughness, I have used up an average of 6 sketchpads per year. My friends used to laugh at the pointy chins, the over-the-top-impossibly-styled hair, and the huge owl-eyes. Due to popular demand, I’ve toned it down, but not enough to completely change it.

Recently, I’ve dipped a bit in the realm of realistic drawing and painting. Inspired by my, uhm, good friend, (*wink wink*) I have been learning to draw more realistic figures. It’s all thanks to him. I saw him paint, draw, the works, and I was blown away. I met him in elementary, and now he’s become so much better at what he does. I’m learning a lot from him, and I’m not as good as him yet, but I’m getting better. Slowly, my style is transforming. I guess this is what happens as time passes. Styles come and go, techniques develop. When I was a kid, I used to draw with anything I could find; from grade 3 to my 1^st year in high school, I wouldn’t even write unless I had a Mongol No. 3 pencil; and now, I’ve been more meticulous about the “instruments” I use when I draw (oh how I love my Staedtler 0.5mm Mars micro mechanical pencil, ha ha ha).

Yes, bratty as I am when it comes to these kinds of things, I still try to have fun with whatever I draw. I even go online looking for more things to draw. I’m even interested with typography now. (What a shocker :P) I think it’s amazing how some people can arrange a string of words and make it an artwork. I’m trying to think of new things to do, new styles to take in, new colors and shades just waiting for me to discover them. Ha ha ha.

If I ever become a type of person who some look up to, I only have a few words for them, “Absorb new styles, and make it your own.” I think it’s pretty simple. You find new things, you try to copy them, then you add your own twist to it. (Artistic plagiarism is a no-no for me.)

Discourse and the Environment

How language changes (I wouldn't say evolve, cause that would mean I refer to the past as a less evolved version) also depends on where one lives, right? Cause I'm pretty sure I didn't talk (type) like this until I moved to Manila. Okay, maybe a little. Okay, a lot. In my head, anyway.

See, I'm still friends on Facebook with some of my old high school friends from Baguio, and I noticed how, uh, how do I say this... How different (safe answer, man) their language is from mine. And I'm not talking about language as in English, Filipino, etc. Language as in how they choose to construct their sentences, their word choices, and their terms...

I don't want to be mean, but I don't know how else to describe it. There are times when my old friends are bordering on being "jeje". I'd gotten used to how people here in QC talk, and it's vastly different.

Somehow my old friends are still stuck in what feels so immature, so high school (which would honestly make sense, considering most of my high school friends went to the same university, and that some of them are still classmates). I don't see any Facebook posts about important things (probably because what they've defined as important is what their crushes happened to be wearing that day), about bigger things (the biggest thing I saw shared on FB was that Pangasinan thing, and it was a post condemning sinners -- really?) Apparently, posting just one selfie isn't enough -- not even two or three is enough -- you just had to make a collage, didn't you?

Maybe it's because I've been exposed to more than them? I mean, UPD /is/ a huge university, and I don't just talk to UPD students -- I also have friends from other universities, other countries even. I'm in Manila, where the action's at. I'm not trying to put myself higher than them, but I just happen to be in a place with a different level of discourse compared to them. (There goes that word again, "different". My safe word for tonight.) Maybe because I've taken a stand in a political party? Maybe it's the people I've surrounded myself with. Huh. The environment you're in really does shape who you are, huh? Interesting thought of the night.

Oh, I'm AIESECer now. Hah. Forgot to blog about that. That's what I meant by "org work", cause I didn't reaffirm my membership to EURO this sem, and I haven't been going to belly dance training. HAHAHA Anyway, AIESEC really is a lot of work. I have two roles this sem, and I'm pretty happy where I am. A lot of shit has happened over the few weeks. Good, bad, amazing, ugly, meh. I roll with the punches. 

God damnit I keep telling myself that I'm gonna get back to writing, but I always get distracted. Ahhhh. Work has been piling up (hooray for that). Acads are alright (well, I /could/ do better). Social life is dismal as usual. Meh. Well, whatever.

Ego

I always thought that I was pretty. No, this isn't gonna be some post about me praising myself, but more of a reflective thing.

The thing is, I always thought that I was pretty. That I had things to offer. Now, in my second year of college, I still find myself single. I find myself having no one to text good morning and good night. No one to randomly visit when I have long breaks. Why is that?

They say good things come to those who wait. Well, I've been waiting for 2 years now. Some say good things come to those who go out and look for it. I tried that, too, and I failed miserably. Why? Is there some cosmic force out there preventing me from meeting someone? If so, I would really appreciate it if you back off, please. I'm tired of being single.

Of orgs and responsibilities.

Here'a the thing: I'm a member of UP EURO, and recently, there have been issues between me and Martin, the VP for Finance. See, I didn't want to be part of Fin in the first place -- It eas assigned to us. Unconsciously, My work became half-assed. Maybe because I never really enjoyed ny work, maybe it just wasn't my forte. Martin and I got into this heated conversation about loyalty, work ethics, etc etc. I, being the hot-headed arrogant little prick that I can be, offended Martin. I apologized soon after, but it was awkward when I saw him the next day -- it was unavoidable, he was my Latin classmate. It's been about two weeks, and things have gotten better between us. Kuya Pax and Ate Baj talked to me about moving to a different sector, namely, Comm, and Martin and I are on better terms now. I actually just submitted my appeal to transfer sector form a while ago. Things are looking good on the EURO front.

I am currently an app for AIESEC, a VSB-based org. (It still feels weird calling it VSB-- I'm not a fan of Virata). Things have been going smoothly. Better than that, actually. I'm having an awesome time hanging out with new people. I like my co-apps (some of them, anyway). There are a little over a hundred of us, and so far, I've met about 30 or so. I've made mental notes on the people I actually click with, a mini-barkada, so to speak. There's Elle, Anna, Iya, Clarice and Jules, Mark and Jico, Carlo and Miggy, Sunny, Ruod, and Page, Irish, Rodel and Nina, etc etc. Ang rami talaga e. =))) I've also gotten to know some of the mems, particularly Khail and Jes (Jesus~), and gotten to hang out with the EB people, Kuya Chino, and so on. So far, the app process has been chill. I've been collecting signatures for the past two days, and I personalky think I'm doing a good job. =)))) I'll continue working on this soon. Arrivederci!

Idk?

Marathoning Awkward all night has inspired me to blog more, lol. Unfortunately, my life isn't as interesting as Jenna Hamilton. Er, and is not fictional. I have the Blogger app on my ipod, so I guess I have no excuse to not post more often. Except for the fact that I'm busy as fuck now. Damn. Gotta get my life back on track.

Idk man, life's confusing as fuck. I don't really have any right to say this, cause I've only been here for 18 years. I know so little about the world. But man, it's confusing. Maybe I'm just some disillusioned teenager.

I love my classmates. =)) 

Random pictures because... Well, cause i can.

PS. Posting mobile is so much easier. :))))

It's been an interestig first few weeks of class. Slowly getting the hang of running from AS to CAL then back to AS. My brains's starting to get used to thinking in Italian, a skill I desperately need to master. Latin's crazy. The prof, mostly. Anthro's been really interesting. Art Stud's so-so. Microbiology and Biotechnology's insane. Why'd I take that class? Oh, right. I was desperate for an MST. EURO work's been piling up, so I gotta stay on my feet so I don't get swamped. Training's started, and I'm really excited. Can't wait to get my body in shape (a shape that's not round). Been trying to make friends (failing at that, really). EL friends still as tight as ever. Made a new friend in Ruod. :))) Oh, and been trying to get people to join EURO. Trying is the operative word here. My datig life is still as dead as ever -- what's new, eh? Other than that, I'd say that my first semester's been good. So far so good.